Saturday, October 14, 2006


In my last post I asked the question "How much will we really miss or be missed?"
The biggest ache in my heart comes when I think about leaving my family. Maybe it's because I've never lived anywhere but Colorado, within 30 minutes of both of my parents. Or, maybe it's because 2 years in a 33 year old person's life is not a lot of time, but in a growing toddler or parents and grandparents who are getting older, each day is a treasure.
Are we really supposed to leave? Really Lord? When your word says to leave all that we know, which may include our family, in order to come follow you...I don't know if I'm capable. Is this what you are asking of me?
Or, is it as Russ suggested, that there is a reason we are born where we are and placed in the family and town that we find ourselves.
I know my life will be forever changed if we make this journey, for the good. And, sometimes, I feel as though I NEED to go. I need to experience a life that doesn't have access to every creature comfort and in a way I feel I need to be forced to rely more completely on God.
Lord, give me strength and wisdom. Prepare our hearts and the hearts of those we love - I pray for your will and not just my own.

I got an email from the director today and our next step is to schedule a phone meeting with them as soon as possible to discuss some of our questions (especially WHEN will we know the final acceptance decisions?!)


Blogger Nikki said...

Oh dear friend, I wish that I was there with you. I'm sure this heartache is becoming unbearable at times. I'm here for you to help carry this burden. You've already shown so much courage and I know that God will continue to strengthen you on this journey - if you go or not, it will still teach you so much.
I miss you and love you.

7:30 AM  

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